How to Road Trip (According To Schroeder)
by Dolores-the-Dip
Summary: On a Road Trip to Needles, California; Schroeder attempts to get the kids in the boredom-free spirit with catchy songs and memorable moments. Will it be a dud or not. Ships: CB x Peppermint Patty, Lucy x Schroeder,Sally x Linus, Franklin x Marcie, Shermy x Patty, Violet x Pigpen, Snoopy x Fifi (mentioned only). Cameo by Zahir890


How to Road Trip (According To Schroeder)

A Peanuts Fanfiction by LivingOnLaughs

Chapter 1

Getting There

"Snoopy, are we there yet?" Sally Brown complained, kicking the white beagle's seat.

" _Five more hours if this hold up keeps up, guys"_ Snoopy thought.

"Sally, we haven't even left the state yet, more less the highway" Linus reminded the girl who called him a Sweet Babboo. Traffic was chaotic.

"Aughh!" cried the blonde girl.

"Chuck, I'm bored" Peppermint Patty barked.

"Well try to hold out, Patty" Charlie Brown suggested.

"Schroeder, when will we get married?" questioned Lucy.

"In the year 2099" the blonde boy sarcastically answered, getting some laughter out of the kids.

"Chuck, do you know HOW boring this road trip is?" the tomboy asked.

"How boring?" some of the kids asked.

"It's so boring, it put Warren Peace to sleep while he wrote _Leo's Toy store,_ " joked Peppermint Patty; as expected, she was the only one laughing.

"Not funny, Patricia" groaned Lucy Van Pelt.

"Sorry, Lucille" the freckled tomboy replied. "But look" she explained, pointing to Franklin and Marcie, both in a deep sleep.

"Well we've got to wake at least one of them" Charlie Brown added. "And I'm not going to risk getting my lights knocked out when we reach Needles either"

Schroeder turned towards Lucy. "Hey guys, who wants to sing road songs?" he asked.

"We're not Karen Carpenter!" shouted Lucy.

"I'm in" Peppermint Patty announced.

"Sure thing" added Linus.

"Ditto" Charlie Brown agreed.

"I'll begin" explained Schroeder.

" _Beethoven did road songs?!"_ questioned Snoopy in alarm.

Schroeder: _Do ya need a break from modern livin'?_

 _Do ya long to shed your weary load?_

 _If your nerves are raw_

 _And your brain is fried_

 _Just grab a friend and take a ride_

 _Together upon the open road_

"C'mon, guys! It's fun!" he exclaimed.

Lucy: _All in all, I'd rather have detention_

 _All in all, I'd rather eat a toad_

"Yuck!" squirmed Pigpen.

Violet: _And the beagle drives like such a klutz_

Patty Swanson: _That I'm about to hurl my guts_

Violet and Patty Swanson: _Directly upon the road_

Schroeder: _There's nothin' can upset me_

 _'Cause now we're on our way_

 _Our trusty map will guide us straight and true_

Charlie Brown/Peppermint Patty: _Heather dear/Zacky dear, please don't forget me_

 _I will return someday_

 _Though I may be in traction when I do_

Schroeder: _Me and friends relaxin' like the old days_

Lucy: _This is worse than dragon breath and acne_

Schroeder: _In a buddy-buddy kind of mode_

Lucy: _I'm so mad_

Patty Swanson: _I think I may explode_

Schroeder: _When I see that highway, I could cry_

Peppermint Patty: _Ya know, that's funny_

Patty Swanson: _So could I_

Patty Swanson, Lucy and Schroeder _: Just bein' out on the open road_

Frieda pulled out a cowboy's hat from the trunk and put it on. "Now **WHAT?** " questioned Charlie Brown.

 _Frieda: Howdy, boys_

 _Is this the way to Nashville?_

Other driver: _Watch it, Mac!_

 _Or you'll be gettin' towed_

Prisoner: _I'm in no hurry to arrive_

 _'Cause I'll be turnin' sixty-five_

 _The next time I see the open road_

Frieda: _Just a week of rest and relaxation_

Sally: _Yeah!_

Violet: _And the odd romantic episodes_

Peppermint Patty: _Very odd!_

Sally: _It's Californ-eye-ay or bust_

Pigpen: _Look out, you dirtbags_

 _Eat my dust_

*Snoopy howls* Schroeder translates: _From now on, I own the open road!_

Peppermint Patty: _Just me and best friend, Marcie_

 _My pipsqueak pioneer_

Charlie Brown sighed. "She's not **THAT** small" he explained.

Passer-byers: _Their car ventures forever westward ho_

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: _Yeehaw!_

Violet: _Could someone call a taxi_

 _And get me outta here_

 _To Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-0_

Schroeder: _Every day another new adventure_

Peppermint Patty: _Every mile another new zip code_

Linus, Rerun and Lucy: _And the cares we had are gone for good_

Violet and Patty Swanson: _And I'd go with them if I could_

Charlie Brown: _I've got no strings on me_

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: _And we can all agree_

 _How wonderful to be_

 _On the open road!_

Patty Swanson hurled over by the car window. "Someone pull over and maybe open the window…I'm gonna throw up" she explained.

"How about another song?" Schroeder asked.

"THIS time I'M choosing!" the freckled tomboy exclaimed.

"Please choose something to last us five hours" Sally requested.

"Certainly" Peppermint Patty replied.

(To the tune of B-I-N-G-O, when you see this *, clap)

Peppermint Patty: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

S-N-O-O-P-Y

S-N-O-O-P-Y

S-N-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Lucy was furious. "That dumb ol dog-" she began.

Linus: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-N-O-O-P-Y

*-N-O-O-P-Y

*-N-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

" **I'M NOT SINGING THAT SONG!"** shouted Violet in annoyance.

Frieda: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-O-O-P-Y

*-*-O-O-P-Y

*-*-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Charlie Brown smiled, tapping his feet on the car floor merrily.

Schroeder: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-*-*-P-Y

*-*-*-*-P-Y

*-*-*-*-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Sally: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-* *-*-Y

*-*-* *-*-Y

*-*-* *-*-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

"We're in full swing now!" Charlie Brown exclaimed eagerly.

Charlie Brown: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

(Six Claps)

(Six Claps)

(Six Claps)

And Snoopy is the driver

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: And Snoopy is the drive-er

"Great song, Peppermint Patty" praised the blonde haired boy as Snoopy nodded his head in agreement.

"Well I know a really good one" Lucy insisted.

"Go right ahead, Lucy" the freckled girl sighed, nudging Franklin a little with her elbow.

Lucy: _On the road again_

Charlie Brown: _I just can't wait to get on the road again_

Schroeder: _The life I love is makin' music with my friends_

Linus: _And I can't wait to get on the road again_

Rerun: _On the road again_

Violet: _Goin' places that I've never been_

Patty Swanson: _Seein' things that I may never see again_

Lucy: _And I can't wait to get on the road again_

Schroeder: _Here we go, on the road again_

Pigpen: _Like a band of Gypsies we go down the highway_

Peppermint Patty: _We're the best of friends_

Charlie Brown: _Insisting that the world keep turnin' our way_

Shermy: _And our way is on the road again_

Lucy: _I just can't wait to get on the road again_

Schroeder: _The life I love is makin' music with my friends_

Charlie Brown and Sally; Linus, Lucy and Rerun: _And I can't wait to get on the road again, break free_

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: _And I can't wait to get on the road again_

Patty sighed. "Great song, gang" she praised.

"I agree" Charlie Brown nodded his head.

"Chuck, you kinda like me, don't you?" the freckled girl asked.

"Well…" he began.

Linus sighed as Sally nuzzled closer to him. "It's gonna be a long five hours" he sighed, sucking his thumb happily.

"It's also gonna be a bumpy ride" complained Violet.

"That reminds me and Linus of a song" Sally squealed.

"Then sing it, Johny Cash" teased Lucy.

Linus: _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

Sally: _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

Charlie Brown: _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

Peppermint Patty: _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

Shermy: _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

Patty Swanson: _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

Violet: _I'm gonna pull you over, pull you under_

Pigpen: _Make your body surrender to mine_

Schroeder: _Girl you can make me suffer, do whatever_

Lucy: _Cause I know you're one of a kind_

Charlie Brown: _Tell me who can love you, nobody_

Linus: _Hold you, nobody_

Sally: _Make your body wind, like me_

Shermy: _You will never find someone like me_

Peppermint Patty: _Who can love you, nobody_

Charlie Brown: _Hold you,_

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock, Snoopy and Charlie Brown: _nobody_

Patty Swanson: _Make your body wind, like me_

Shermy: _You will never find someone like me_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

Patty Swanson: _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

Rerun: _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

Lucy could only sigh. "It's gonna be a bumpy ride" she groaned.

Charlie Brown: _Imma spin you around, push your buttons_

Peppermint Patty: _Buy you plenty of stuff_

Lucy: _Then I'll take you down, to the bottom_

Schroeder: _Work you all the way to the top_

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: _Tell me who can love you, nobody_

 _Hold you, nobody_

 _Make your body wind, like me_

 _You will never find someone like me_

 _Who can love you, nobody_

 _Hold you, nobody_

 _Make your body wind, like me_

 _You will never find someone like me_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _Its gonna be a bumpy ride_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

 _On top of my love gain and you're gonna get it tonight_

 _I'm focused I'm ready girl I'm gonna give it to you right_

 _I' gonna pull you over, pull you under_

 _Make your body surrender to mine_

 _Girl you can make me suffer, do whatever_

 _Cause I know you're one of a kind_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

 _I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo_

 _Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow_

 _Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo_

 _It's gonna be a bumpy ride_

"Best. Song. **EVER!"** screamed Peppermint Patty.

"I know, right?" added Charlie Brown.

"Agreed" Lucy smiled.

"Back to Beethoven" announced Schroeder.

"Can't we have **ONE MORE** song, Schroeder?" questioned the fussbudget.

"Fine" sighed her blonde boyfriend. "What's it gonna be?" he asked the kids.

"What's going on exactly?" questioned Franklin.

"Road songs" Schroeder obviously stated.

"Did we wake you two?" asked Charlie Brown, blushing in humiliation. "Were we too loud?" he added, feeling ashamed if they were.

"No…I woke up after you guys started singing that last song, I just kept my mouth shut and began sight-seeing," he explained. "As for Marcie, she's probably still sleeping…PROBABLY"

"Well, how about you choose the song?" Lucy asked.

"I'd be glad to" smiled the African-American boy, handing Snoopy some earplugs.

" _What're these for?"_ questioned Snoopy.

"Hey Schroe, my man, nice choice of song" Franklin smiled.

"Wow, thanks…usually I partake in Beethoven" the blonde musician smiled.

Franklin smiled at the thought. "So, who wants to hear a song?" he asked, looking out at the sky to see a setting sun.

"We do!" cheered the kids.

"Okay then" the curly haired boy replied.

Franklin: _Once there was a way,_

 _To get back homeward._

Charlie Brown: _Once there was a way_

 _To get back home._

Linus *to Sally*: _Sleep, pretty darling,_

 _Dot not cry_

 _And I will sing a lullaby._

Lucy, Linus, Charlie Brown, Shermy and Violet: _Golden slumbers,_

 _Fill your eyes_

 _Smiles await you when you rise_

 _Sleep pretty darling_

 _Do not cry_

 _And I will sing a lullaby._

Franklin: _Once there was a way_

 _To get back homeward_

Schroeder: _Once there was_ *yawn* _a way_

 _To get back home_

Lucy *to Schroeder*: _Sleep, pretty darling_

 _Do not cry_

Franklin: _And I will sing a lullaby._

Charlie Brown yawned a little. "Franklin that was a beautiful suggestion" he praised.

"Don't worry, Charlie Brown, we'll be at our destination soon" his friend responded. "Besides, you guys need the sleep" he added.

"Well we're everything but *yawn* tired!" denied Peppermint Patty.

Lucy nodded her head in agreement. "In fact, I have a song to sing" she added.

"You do?!" the kids who haven't nodded off yet asked.

Lucy nodded her head again. "Yeah, you blockheads"

Lucy: _Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes_

 _And save these questions for another day_

 _I think I know what you've been asking me_

 _I think you know what I've been trying to say_

 _I promised I would never leave you_

 _Then you should always know_

 _Wherever you may go, no matter where you are_

 _I never will be far away_

 _Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep_

 _And still so many things I want to say_

 _Remember all the songs you sang for me_

 _When we went sailing on an emerald bay_

 _And like a boat out on the ocean_

 _I'm rocking you to sleep_

 _The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart_

 _You'll always be a part of me_

 _Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream_

 _And dream how wonderful our life will be_

 _Someday our child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby_

 _Then in your heart there will always be a part of me_

 _Someday we'll all be gone_

 _But lullabies go on and on_

 _They never die_

 _That's how you and I will be_

"Zzzzz" snored her yellow-haired boyfriend.

"Isn't that just cute, Charlie Brown?" asked Lucy.

"It sure is, Lucy" smiled the lovable loser as Peppermint Patty used his shoulder as her pillow, snoring like mad.

"We'll be at the airport soon" Franklin reminded the kids.

Snoopy sighed. _"I'll need a world famous disguise if I'm gonna join them"_ he told himself.


End file.
